


25 Hours

by wngkrsus



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Death, M/M, Secrets, Trip - Freeform, enjoy, heart cancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 12:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30055149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wngkrsus/pseuds/wngkrsus
Summary: If only I can borrow just one more hour
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Younghoon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	25 Hours

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Choi. It's too late now, if only he attended treatments earlier, we can do something about it." The doctor intently looked at Chanhee, and shook his head. The lad only gave him an apologetic smile... even if he’s not really apologetic at all.

His mother came to him as the doctor leaves. She kept on caressing her son’s hair and just stared at him with tears forming in her eyes. At that moment, the door creaked open and the father entered the room. He must have had an idea of what's happening right now as the mother rushed into his arms and wailed like a child. The tears failing to stay inside his eyes, and just kept on rolling down his cheeks like a stream. 

Seeing them like this breaks the lad’s heart into pieces, especially knowing that it’s all because of him. It feels like his heart is being pounded and crushed into fine sand, that could easily collapse together into thin air and not easily seen by the naked eye. But what can he do? There's nothing he could do anymore. This is what he wanted anyways. He got tired of having to always fight for life. He’s tired of constantly feeling the pain just to keep his body that's already failing. He didn't want to fight for a failing body anymore.

Tears started to roll down Chanhee’s cheeks as he felt his parents' warm embrace. "I'm sorry," was all he could say as he rests his head on their shaking shoulders. The family stayed like that for God knows how long.

Chanhee expected this. They’ve all expected this, but they cease to believe that it’s actually about to happen. Chanhee knows that no matter how he fights for it, it’s already too late. And he doesn’t want to… he stopped fighting for a long time already. Now, all he has to do is to wait for his time; for the sands of his time to finally run out.

"Does he know?" He just looked at my father as response, trying to communicate with him through his eyes. "He deserves to know about this, Chanhee. He's about to lose you— _we're_ about to lose you."

"I don't want to cause him anymore pain, Dad."

"You'll hurt him even more if you just leave in his oblivion, son. Aren't you tired of smiling and pretending to be okay in front of him?"

"My smiles are always genuine when I'm with him. I never pretended my smiles and happiness, and I'm okay whenever I'm with him. I'm scared. I'm scared of seeing him in pain because of me. I'm don't want to see him cry because of me. I don't want to see his heart break knowing that I'm leaving him forever... because it also breaks my heart seeing him like that — seeing the three of you like this. I'm not ready for that."

As they got home, Chanhee received a call from Younghoon. It was his favourite time of the day – talking to Younghoon. Because he knows that at the end of a long, tiring day, his boyfriend will always be there to cheer him up, and like a free therapy, he finds himself smiling as if he didn’t just went through the head of a needle. But talking to his boyfriend still feels hard for him, because he had to smile and laugh as if he’s not feeling any pain. Just to not make him worry.

“Babe, do you think we should go on a trip this weekend?” Chanhee thought.

[A trip? Out of the blue?]

“Yeah! Why not? It’s just a one-day vacation. I’ll plan our itinerary!” The younger sounded so enthusiastic through the line. The other not knowing a single thing how much this trip will mean so much to them.

[Okay. Babe, I need to go prepare for bed now.]

“Okay. Good night, I love you.”

After bidding farewells, their call finally ended. Chanhee immediately grabbed his laptop, a notebook and a pencil, and started researching to plan for their trip.

–•–•–

“A trip?! Chanhee, are you still on your right mind? Have you gone insane?!” Changmin’s roar filled his room when he told his friends about his plans on going on a trip with his boyfriend. “You can’t go on a trip! You’re not allowed to.”

“Chanhee, we already let you stop attending your therapies and then this? Seriously, do you have a death wish?!” Kevin barged in. Juyeon kept silent in one corner of the room and just listened to them.

“I do,” the lad answered that shocked them. His genuine smile making them more confused. They all got teary-eyed seeing how their friend really wants to do this like his aching for it for his whole life. They didn’t know what to do. _Are we going to stop him? Should we just let him be again? But we know what will happen after this, I can’t afford to lose him._ Chanhee knows their stares meant these; they don’t need to voice it out for him to know. They’re all caught up in the middle of letting him do what he wants and stopping him.

“I want to do this,” the lad started. “It’s my last day — my last hours… You all know how much I want to spend them with him. Just for the sake of paying him back for being oblivious of every pain his boyfriend is feeling. This is my death wish, yes. And I want it so bad… I want to spend my remaining hours of feeling free, doing everything I want, being genuinely happy, and not thinking about the pain… _with him_.”

Juyeon looked up, preventing his tears from falling. Kevin covered his face, crying his heart out, while listening to his friend’s words. And Changmin closed the distance between him and Chanhee to wrap him in a tight hug and wailed on his shoulders. The others followed and turned into a group hug with all of them wailing their hearts out at the thought of losing someone — the thought of losing your dearest friend. Chanhee in the midst of their cries just smiled, patting every one’s backs, comforting them.

–•–•–

00:00 AM

“Please, drive safely, Younghoon.” Chanhee’s parents reminded them. His friends also came to see them off. No one’s sure that it might be the last time they’re going to see their friend.

“Why are you all here? It’s not like we’re taking you with us.” Younghoon said to Chanhee’s friends as he saw them all there and chuckled at them. “Don’t worry, we’ll come back safely. Besides, we’ll only be gone for 24 hours! Don’t miss us too much.”

The four best friends looked at each other, full of meaning. Everyone’s eyes turned to Chanhee, who’s now just smiling at them, genuinely, as if nothing’s wrong. The lad heaved a sigh, “We need to go.”

They bade their (who knows might be) last farewells to each other, his parents and friends holding the tears in their eyes as they watch their car drive off. Chanhee also started to feel a heavy burden in his heart as he watches their car go farther. He looks at his boyfriend driving, seriously focused on the road. The latter feeling, his stares, took a glance at him and smiled.

“Why are you looking at me like that, hm?” Younghoon grabbed Chanhee’s hand and brought it to his lips. The sweet gesture made Chanhee blush, his fair skin failing to hide its reddish bloom. The older chuckled and pinched his boyfriend’s cheek, “Cutie.”

They stayed that way for a couple of minutes. Chanhee looked outside the window, watching establishments pass by as their car moves forward. He knows he’s not going to regret this, or so he thinks. But, nonetheless, he promises himself that he will make sure to enjoy every second he spends with Younghoon.

Not long after, Chanhee fell asleep. They have a long ride ahead, that’s why they left their house at exactly 12 midnight, marking the start of their 24-hour trip.

–•–•–

7:00AM

Younghoon woke Chanhee up as they stopped by a chain of restaurants. Chanhee looked around only to see what seems like an endless road and a couple of streetlights, and a chain of restaurants in front of them. The lad hopped out of the car and noticed the sky still a little dim as the sun hasn’t completely risen.

“Where are we?” He asked, still half-awake.

“We’re still a few minutes away from our hotel. But first, let’s have breakfast!” Younghoon pulled him into a familiar restaurant, enthusiastically.

He just let the older take their orders so he just stares at his boyfriend’s every movement. The older looked so happy because they were spending time with each other, and so is he! But unlike him, Chanhee has a lot of things going on inside his head. He can’t describe what he’s feeling. He knows his happy to spend his last day with the person he loves most, but he’s not sure if his happiness right now is genuine thinking that it’s his last day and there are no more days to spend it like this again. The other days will be just Younghoon alone, he’ll be leaving Younghoon to spend his days alone after this and that’s what breaks his heart most.

When they left the restaurant, Chanhee looked up to the sky to see it shine a wonderful sky blue colour, as the sun shines from the east. Rushing, he took his Polaroid camera from the car to capture the wonderful scenery. The lad takes a shot, seconds later, the camera prints out the film and all he has to do is wait for the photograph to develop.

The Polaroid perfectly captures the beautiful sunrise, together with a flock of birds entering the frame in a perfect timing, and a figure of a man… a figure of the man he loves the most, watching the sunrise, adoring the beautiful scenery just like how he adores this magnificent view in front of him.

“Babe,” he calls the attention of the lad. “Smile for me.” Younghoon flashed a bright, wide smile. He immediately peeks through the view finder to take a photo of his boyfriend, but as he zooms in to his boyfriend’s face, flashing a wide smile, it was as if the time slowed down for the both of them — especially, for him.

The lad feels his hand trembling, another lump forms in his throat while trying to hold back the tears forming in his eyes. God knows how much he will miss this smile. Out of billions of different kinds of smiles, his smile is his favourite one. A smile that can brighten up anyone’s gloomy days; a smile that is so contagious, you will never notice you’re also smiling after him. With trembling hands, Chanhee slowly pushed the shutter.

After having breakfast, they arrived at the hotel they’ll be staying in for the day. They decided to rest for a few hours since Younghoon had been driving for 8 hours straight, and after a few hours of resting, they will grab their lunch before officially continuing what Chanhee have on their itinerary for the day.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?” Younghoon asked as he saw Chanhee sitting on a couch not far from their bed.

Chanhee smiled at him, “I’ve had enough rest on our way here. You go and rest. Maybe I’ll join you later.” Younghoon tried not to sleep, but his exhaustion from driving earlier pulled him into a deep sleep.

–•–•–

13:00 PM

“So what’s in our itinerary for today?” Younghoon asked after they have left the restaurant. Chanhee looked at his notes where he listed all of their plans for today.

Itinerary Checklist:

  * _~~Catch the sunrise~~_



“Uhm… let’s go to the mall!” Chanhee enthusiastically shrieked at the thought that made Younghoon chuckle.

“How many did you list in that mini checklist of yours?” Younghoon attempted to get Chanhee’s small note to see the list, but Chanhee smacked his hand away and immediately hid the notebook in his Chan*l purse. “Ouch! No need to be violent, baby.” Younghoon pouted and just brought his hand back to the steering wheel and continued driving.

Chanhee and Younghoon decided to watch a horror movie wherein a group of people unlawfully starts purging everyone. Bringing a set of chicken, pizza, and two cups of soda, they enter the movie house.

Itinerary Checklist:

  * _~~Catch the sunrise~~_
  * _~~Watch movies in the cinema~~_



“Babe, I swear! If I get nightmares because of that, I’m never leaving the house.” Chanhee whined after watching the movies.

“Don’t worry about that. What’s the use of having a very strong and handsome boyfriend if I’m not going to protect my Chanhee?” Younghoon replied with a few hand gestures, followed by a wink.

“Ew,” Chanhee frowned. “Babe, don’t do that again, it’s very cringey.” Younghoon gasped at his boyfriend’s reaction. Before he could even react, Chanhee pulled him into an arcade house.

They stopped in front of a Claw Machine filled with penguin plushies. After exchanging cash with tokens, Younghoon immediately attended to the machine and inserted a token.

“Were you this bad with claw machines or are you just really unlucky today?” Chanhee teased when it’s already been quarter an hour since Younghoon tried to get the plushy. It was either he misses to aim the plushy or exceed the time limit.

He chuckled when the lad exchanged his bills again for another set of tokens, “We might get broke at this point, babe. That’s enough, it’s fine!” He tried pulling Younghoon away from the machine but the older insisted.

“No, I am going to get you this penguin even if we go bankrupt.” The older said, determined. Unfortunately, it was his last token. The tall man sighed in frustration.

“Can I try?” Chanhee offered. He inserted the token and aimed for the biggest penguin plushy inside the machine. “Oh my gosh!” He exclaimed when the claw grabbed onto the plushy.

“Were you this good with claw machines?” Younghoon asked, eyes open wide in shock as if they were to pop out of his eye sockets.

“This is my first time. I’m just lucky.” Chanhee winked at his boyfriend, teasing him.

They left the arcade after spending almost 30 useless minutes and a bunch of cash attempting to get a single plushy. Chanhee was hugging the plushy so tight for it was very plush. He adored the stuffed animal, talking baby to it, and smiling at it very dearly. _I’ll have you for the meantime since you won’t be mine anymore when I leave. Keep my Hoonie company for me, okay?_ He said at the back of his mind, staring at the plushy.

“You look like the penguin, babe.” Younghoon let out a hearty chuckle that they made Chanhee frown at him. He immediately stopped as he sees his boyfriend’s glare, “It was a joke, baby. I’m sorry.” They continued to enter a branded clothing outlet.

Itinerary Checklist:

  * _~~Catch the sunrise~~_
  * _~~Watch movies in the cinema~~_
  * _~~Get souvenirs from the arcade~~_ _ ~~J~~_
  * _~~Shop clothes for babe~~_



–•–•–

17:00 PM

They went back to their hotel and dropped off the things they shopped. Chanhee stepped out to their hotel room’s balcony, a refreshing sea breeze enveloping him immediately. A little while later, a small sound of seeming screams passed through Chanhee’s ears. Chanhee looked around to find where the sound came from, and not from afar, he saw a Carnival from which seemed where the little screams are coming from. 

“Babe, isn’t that a Ferris wheel?”

The couple sat on their designated seats which are at the tail of a dinosaur-looking rollercoaster ride. Because they arrived last, they almost didn’t get a seat, and so are designated on the end. Younghoon is smiling from ear-to-ear as they settle down on their seat, while Chanhee is feeling half-excitement and half-nervous. It’s his first time to experience a ride after so long he could barely even remember when he last went to an amusement park. He’s afraid his heart might not make it after this extreme ride.

 _“It’s all or nothing, Chanhee. It’s all or nothing…”_ He thought to himself. By then, the vehicle has started moving.

“Are you okay?” Younghoon immediately asked Chanhee as they settle down a nearby bench. Chanhee looked as if he is about to pass out anytime that the older has _solicitude_ written all over his face.

Instead of answering him, Chanhee chugged down a whole bottle of water Younghoon handed him. He catches his breath, heart pounding fast and hard, chest moving with difficulty as if something heavy is over it. He almost died! On a rollercoaster ride!

 _“Not now… this isn’t what I had planned in mind.”_ He thought. After a few deep breaths and prayers, he managed to calm his heart down. The younger stood up, plastering a big smile on his face as if nothing concerning had just happened to him. “Let’s go! There are more rides I want to try out!” He pulled Younghoon to another ticketing booth.

“You bruised my arm!” Younghoon exclaimed after they have left the haunted house. They both looked at a mixture of reddish, greenish, and purplish area of his skin. Chanhee looked apologetic to see how his tight grip had bruised the elder’s wrist.

“I’m sorry. I told you I didn’t want to go!” Chanhee gently caressed his skin and lightly blowing on it as if it will make it go away. He also naturally put a hand on his chest, feeling his heart occasionally making a loud beat as if it is having a hard time on pumping blood. _“It’s just a late reaction of your shock. You’re fine, you’ll make it through the day. Just hang on.”_ He lightly pats on his chest, convincing it to calm down.

Chanhee made a big bite on his corndog as they have settled down inside one of the Ferris wheel cabins. They both promised it’s their last ride for today after the horror ride. Chanhee also warned himself to stop before a more dangerous risk attacks him in the middle of the day.

 _“It’s pretty,”_ the younger mumbled, watching the sky turn into an astonishing of orange, pink, and purple as the sun sets by the sea.

A click followed by a soft flash caught his attention that made him turn to his boyfriend holding a camera pointed at him. Younghoon smiled at him and brought lifted the camera back to his eye level; Chanhee then, flashed a wide smile on his face. Behind the camera, hides a single drop of tear rolling from Younghoon’s left eye, watching how his boyfriend flashes a smile so genuine at him.

Itinerary Checklist:

  * _~~Catch the sunrise~~_
  * _~~Watch movies in the cinema~~_
  * _~~Get souvenirs from the arcade~~_ _ ~~J~~_
  * _~~Shop clothes for babe~~_
  * _~~Have fun at an amusement park~~_
  * _~~Sunset inside the Ferris wheel~~_



–•–•–

20:00 PM

The sun has now fully set, and the couple finds themselves walking by the bay. Comfortable silence in between them as they walk by the shore extending to an imperceptible end that makes it seems endless. Everything felt so surreal. Chanhee never knew he’d feel such felicity in the last hours of his life. Unknowingly, flashing a big smile on his face while walking hand in hand with the love of his life.

A low grumble escaped from the elder’s stomach. They looked at each other in shock and laughed. “I, uh… I’m hungry.” Younghoon said, awkwardly.

“What should we eat?” A sudden thought popped inside the younger’s mind. He flashed the biggest smile, “Should we eat seafood today? The scent of the sea somehow made me crave seafood.” He suggested, enthusiastically.

“NO! You’re allergic to seafood, right? No, you can’t have one.” Younghoon replied, shaking his head aggressively in solid opposition.

“But I have my meds with me, I’ll be okay! You don’t have to worry; I just need to take my meds. Hmm?” The younger insisted. He held the lad’s both hands and acted cute in front of his boyfriend, thinking he won’t resist. “Hmmm?” He, then, flashed his most adorable smile matched with puppy eyes.

“Bon appétit!” Chanhee exclaimed, eyeing the seafood platter in front of him. He got himself half a plate full of rice, ready to dig in.

Itinerary Checklist:

  * _~~Catch the sunrise~~_
  * _~~Watch movies in the cinema~~_
  * _~~Get souvenirs from the arcade~~_ _ ~~J~~_
  * _~~Shop clothes for babe~~_
  * _~~Have fun at an amusement park~~_
  * _~~Sunset inside the Ferris wheel~~_
  * _~~Eat seafood! *Don’t forget your meds~~_



–•–•–

21:00 PM

After eating their dinner, the couple finds themselves a spot by the seashore. People have already packed up and left the beach as darkness dominates the sky. Only they are left and a few people from afar, some setting up their tents and some are just watching the waves just like them.

Chanhee opens his arms to feel the breeze but immediately frowned when droplets of salty sea water hit his face. He opens his eyes in perplex to see his boyfriend, feet dipped in the sea and hit by the waves, splashing water at him. He let out a hearty laugh when he splashed water at him again, targeting Chanhee’s clothes.

“What are you doing?! Stop it!” Chanhee exclaimed and shielded himself with his arms as the taller kept on splashing water at him. He immediately stood up from his seat to avoid it.

“Come on! Don’t be such a killjoy.” Younghoon provoked him.

“Who’s the killjoy?” Chanhee splashed a big wave of water to his boyfriend, getting his clothes all wet.

Itinerary Checklist:

  * _~~Catch the sunrise~~_
  * _~~Watch movies in the cinema~~_
  * _~~Get souvenirs from the arcade~~_ _ ~~J~~_
  * _~~Shop clothes for babe~~_
  * _~~Have fun at an amusement park~~_
  * _~~Sunset inside the Ferris~~_ _wheel_
  * _~~Swimming in the Beach~~_



–•–•–

23:00 PM

 _Time really passes by quickly._ Chanhee suddenly thought.

The surroundings suddenly went quiet. What, a while ago, was a very enthusiastic bay; suddenly turned into a serene and dark one as the moon has shone brightly in the middle of the night, being the only source of light the couple have as they have finally decided to walk back home to their hotel. Cold wind brushing felt like fine ice prickling through their skin, sending shivers down their spine.

Out of nowhere, Younghoon felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind; that made him — or them — stop walking. He intertwined his fingers in between Chanhee’s and let them stay like that while cold air brushed their skin gently.

 _“Is this finally goodbye?”_ Younghoon whispered, loud enough for Chanhee to hear. Confused, he let go of his boyfriend; Younghoon finally faced him with red swelling eyes and tears unstoppably rolling down his cheeks. “S-Since… since when?” He asked in the middle of his sobs.

“How did you…” The lad momentarily stopped as it knocks into him. _He knows._ “How did you know?” His eyes wide open in shock since he never told Younghoon — and he doesn’t have a plan on telling him.

“Since when, Chanhee?” Younghoon looked straight to the younger’s eyes, trying to get an answer from him; but the younger, trembling in shock, can’t focus on him. His eyes moving left and right in a quick pace can’t choose which eye to focus on. “Answer me, baby… _please?_ ”

“A-About a year ago…” the lad answered, facing down. He can’t… he didn’t have the courage to look at the elder’s face, when all he did was hide such severe situation when they’ve been together for more than three years already.

Younghoon pulled him into a sudden hug, “Why didn’t you tell me?” He feels the elder’s shaking shoulders and fast beating heart. He hugged him back in an attempt to calm him down. He knows he’s at fault to not tell his boyfriend and keep everything a secret.

“I got scared,” Chanhee started. “I was scared for myself that I can’t bring myself to tell anyone about it. My friends just knew accidentally. They came to my house unannounced while I’m in the middle of having an attack. I asked of them never to bring it up.”

“I had therapies for half a year, I had to quit my part-time job, miss some school days… and so I stopped attending my therapies. I… I didn’t want them anymore.” He stopped momentarily to swallow a growing lump in his throat. His eyes shone as light hit them, showing the tears forming in them. “I felt my freedom being taken away; it was all suffocating, I feel like I couldn’t breathe. More than being motivated by the thought that these therapies can make me live my life longer, all I felt was exhaustion from all the pain that I have to endure. Leading it to the way it is right now… that we can’t do anything anymore to make my life longer, and just giving me an approximate measure of how long my life will last.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through this.” Younghoon said under his breath.

Chanhee let out a sad smile, “Sorry you have to go through me.”

Younghoon pulled him closer into a hug. They stayed like that, feeling each other’s warmth that they’re sharing with their embrace.

_If only I can borrow just one more hour. Give me one more hour. Just one more hour… please._

–•–•–

00:00 AM

“I feel so useless,” Younghoon muttered; tears started streaming down his face again, followed by a series of sobs. Chanhee pulled him into a tight hug, making him wail even more.

The thought of how much his boyfriend may have felt; having to deal with all those painful therapies alone made his heart break into tiny pieces. He was there. He was there when his boyfriend was dealing with all the pain, but he knows nothing about it and he feels like crap for being oblivious. He should have been there to cheer him up, hold his hand, and make him feel that he’s there with him — for him. He should have been there to tell him words that would make his boyfriend eager to fight because he is someone he’d be willing to fight for, to keep living for. _But he couldn’t_.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with all of those alone. I’m sorry for not knowing a thing; for not asking you if you feel anything. I feel so useless.” Younghoon mumbled in the middle of his sobs, his face dug into Chanhee’s chest.

“Shh… Stop it, babe. You are not useless at all.” Chanhee hugged him tighter as he feels his tears forming up in his eyes. “Having you with me, spend a part of my life with me is enough. You’re not obligated to be there for me just because you are my boyfriend. I’m already satisfied with this.” He lightly pushed Younghoon away from his chest ad cupped his face, making him focus on him.

The lad — eyes swelling, nose turning red, and lips trembling — tried hard not to burst into another set of tears as he focuses on his boyfriend’s face. He keeps his lips shut by pouting while waiting for the younger to speak up.

While waiting, he grabs the opportunity to assess his boyfriend’s face; from its tiny features to the whole of it. He sure looks like an angel… and now his angel is about to ascend to the heavens, making him unreachable. Tears started to form in his eyes again as he stares at the younger’s eyes, looking at him in the most loving way. _How can I ever let this man go?_

Fate surely knows how to play with people; letting them meet, get to know each other, fall in love, and in the end, will take one away from the other. Then, again, you are forced to move on and forget about the person who momentarily stopped and be a part of your life, like it was such an easy thing to forget about those ecstatic moments you shared with each other.

“You are already worth it, okay? Having you here right now in the last hour of my life with me, is already enough. So don’t say things like those because I never thought of you as worthless. It’s not your fault that you don’t know anything, it will never be a fault, being oblivious, okay?” Chanhee reassured the elder. “I’m really thankful because you’re the one that takes all my pain away. You make me forget about them the second I see your angelic face… and that’s more than enough of a help for me.”

Chanhee closed the distance between them into long kiss. The moment their lips touch each other’s, tears escape from their eyes. The younger pulled back first, and moved his body closer to Younghoon’s into a hug.

 _“These 24 hours with you is already worth removing a year of pain… and I thank the gods for letting me borrow one more hour to spend with you.”_ Chanhee uttered under his breath, whispering next to Younghoon’s ears.

They spend the last 10 minutes watching the waves hit the shore and splash little droplets of water onto their feet.

Chanhee closes his eyes, feeling the cold sea breeze hitting his skin. It’s a feeling he longed to feel for a long time. He’d never felt so free doing everything he wants, eating whatever he craves, enjoying the most extreme activities he’s ever done… and he’s glad to have done all of them with his most loved person, Younghoon. It was everything he could have ever wished for.

For a day — the ONLY WHOLE DAY EVER in his life — had he not thought of dying any moment. He just enjoyed everything to the fullest... enjoyed extreme rides, enjoyed overflowing emotions, enjoyed catching his breath, enjoyed his loud, pounding heart, and out of all, enjoyed this whole day with the tall man sitting beside him.

He leaned onto his shoulder and whispered, “Thank you… _for these 25 hours with you, for everything_.” Feeling his eyelids go heavy as if it was being pulled by his bottom eyelids, he finally closes them.

One last heavy sigh — his very last breath — and he left the world with a happy heart.

“I’m proud of you, babe. I love you.”

–•–•–

Younghoon let himself drop onto his bed, after a distressing day out in the sun. He just got back home after Chanhee’s funeral. He decides to get back up and wash himself before he rests. He grabs his hoodie when he felt something from one of its pockets. It’s a piece of paper with a _‘Babe’_ written on it. He recognises it as Chanhee’s handwriting, until he remembers that it was the hoodie he brought when he went on a 24-hour trip with Chanhee.

He slowly unfolds the paper, trying his best not to burst into tears just yet when he hasn’t even read a single word from it. But just by seeing his late boyfriend’s handwritten letter, fails him to stop a tear from escaping his eyes.

_Dear Younghoon,_

_Ugh! I see it’s a little awkward and cringey writing these kinds of letters to someone. Nevertheless, I still have to do them anyways._

_I don’t really know how I’ll be able to properly say goodbye to you verbally. Which leads me into writing this letter to you, while you’re here beside me, sleeping peacefully after driving us to this place for 8 hours straight. But I just want you to feel my love for the last time, before I leave you. I want to say thank you for spending three special years of my life with me. I won’t ever forget that (it depends though if they don’t erase my memories once I’m in heaven). Don’t ever forget that. THAT’S AN ORDER!_

_I’m sorry. I don’t want to — I didn’t want to leave you yet. But I guess this is how fate decides to play with us. I’m sorry for hiding it from you… making us the way we are right now. But I didn’t want to add up to your worries, and I will feel a lot better to not see you worrying about this illness of mine._

_I don’t know when you’ll be able to see this crappy letter, but one thing for sure is that I’m already gone once you see this. Baby, you’re finally free now. You’re free to run on your own… without me tied to you. But always remember that I’m still with you, no matter where you are; cheering for you the best I can even though you can’t see me, hear me, touch me, smell me, or taste me. I’ll always be here, guarding you from all the bad bitches that will try to play with your heart._

_You’re free to love someone else now other than me. But choose carefully, okay? I don’t want you to end up to someone not deserving of your pure love, or else I will do everything I can to go back down there and scare the shit out of them._

_Anyways, I don’t want to make this letter ridiculously long and devastating for you. The poor paper might end up all crumpled and wet from your tears, wailing like a big baby._

_I love you, babe._

_Your most loving devilish angel,_

_Choi Chanhee_

**Author's Note:**

> this fiction is inspired by Finding Hope's "25 Hours" from the album "Apollo 19".


End file.
